Become Trained Not Chained
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As you begin your career, you’ll want to soak up the best executed and useful hard and soft skills that you observe from others. You’ll want to take the time to practice your own in any environment that allows for it. Because, these skills will be the foundations of your career growth, regardless of your profession. For women this time is also important for another reason, and it’s something that other more experienced women may not share with you (or may not even be able to articulate). It is at this stage when you’re more likely to also learn how to be chained. If you’ve read that you’re hoping is there a good connotation to this, there is not.
Regardless of your profession, whether it’s on your team, in your organization or socializing with your colleagues you are always learning, and absorbing how to conduct yourself. Most times it is not verbalized. Determining whether expected behaviors are good, bad, or neutral, are dependent on how you as an individual feel about them as they relate to who you are. However, there is another level of expectant behaviors that can be very gender specific. As it applies to men it can make them bigger and thus ambitious. It will be natural for them to seek out mentors and sponsors; request special trainings; seek out specific projects; and voice their accomplishments, desires, and opinions often. Contrarily some professional environments will imply that acceptable female behavior should be small. Women shouldn’t take up a lot of space in meetings with your thoughts, accomplishments and opinions; they don’t seek out special projects or request specialized trainings; and they don’t intentionally seek out mentors or sponsors. Because that not what’s expected of you. You may still get these opportunities but only through obvious hard work when you’re “invited” to them. If you exhibit those “male” behaviors it puts you in a disfavorable light. Learning these types of “trainings” wind up chaining you. If you’re not careful, it can take your entire career to break free.
How Do You Learn The Implied Behaviors That Are Associated with Women in Your Work Environment
Observe the Leaders. Notice how male and female leaders act in your organization. Who’s “big” and who’s “small?” If there is a person that behaving in a way opposite to the acceptable traits of their gender (make sure to discern if this seems like their natural characteristics, like being shy, from their professional persona), perceive how people at all levels treat them. Most importantly, learn what they are saying about them when they are not in the room.
Ask. Ask a leader you trust or your friend colleagues what they think the unwritten rules of behavior are for men and women in your workplace.
Be Intentional. Decide if you want to move into your career acting this way. As I stated above, it’s good or bad depending on who you truly are and with what you can live. But don’t unlearn how to be you, thinking it’s your key to success. In the end, regardless of titles and how much money you make, it’s important to know you made it being your authentic self.