Your Purpose Doesn’t Pay…Until
Many Women’s Stories
Sometime last year I was talking with a woman who was a partner in her law firm. It was the first time that we had met. In normal polite American conversation I asked how long she had been at her firm and a partner. She was probably in her late thirties to early forties. I learned, she had spent a substantial amount of time at this same employer for much of her career and in her current practice area. As she explained, I responded
“You must enjoy your work then.” making an underlying assumption I knew better than to do.
She replied. “It seems to be the only thing someone will pay me for.”
I can’t remember how each of us responded to her loaded response. I don’t recall whether we laughed it off or were distracted by the people and event surrounding us. Regardless, this kind, and talented woman’s response struck and stuck with me.
The Truth About Pursuing Your Purpose
I won’t sugar coat it, finding purpose for some of us is difficult. Once you find it or acknowledge what you’ve already have known, moving on it can be momental.
In our society we are laboring under a terrible falsehood. We believe if our purpose doesn’t pay immediately we must have heard the nudge and the calling incorrectly. I don’t know if this woman whom I was talking to had been searching or trying to pursue her purpose. Regardless, what her response told me is that she went searching for something different, and had since given up for the time being. The reason she gave up was that whatever she was looking to do, wasn’t paying her at least.
Don’t misunderstand me. Money is a basic need. It keeps roofs over our heads, food on the table, and the utilities on. But money is not the appropriate barometer of whether you in fact have landed on your purpose.
I’ll tell you something that is rarely acknowledged. Very few people when they start pursuing their purpose get paid for it, whatever it may be. Society is trained on focusing and envying people and businesses“down the road.” I mean way down the road.
The saying is that an overnight success is usually a decade in the making. If you take the lifespan of an average life, that’s not much time. However, when you’re at the beginning of your dream it looks and feels like an eternity. It doesn’t mean you won’t get paid until year ten, but the purpose won’t start to live in its maturity until then. Why is that?
Why Pursuing Your Purpose is Hard
That’s THE question. I don’t know if this is THE answer. But this is what I believe (and seen) and some of what I posted on LinkedIn
“I believe this is the universe's greatest test for success.
It's consistency. In a world where we get everything fast, the universe insists on testing our consistency and resolve when it's slow, with a capital "S." When we don't see any of the results we want. When no one validates our thoughts and ideas with thousands of (or just one) figurative and literal likes. When all we face is rejection in the form of a hard, "No," or the most common which is complete silence.
It's also the surest way for the universe to be sure, YOU know who you are and what you want. If you don't have a foundation of your self identity... a clear sense of who you are and what you have to offer (outside of everyone else's validation) you may "make it" but you have no roots to sustain it.”
“Many are called but few are chosen.”
How You Support Your Purpose
Don’t ever forget your purpose is the reward AND the test. Very few people make it through the testing period. It can seem long. It will be terrifying. It will be very lonely. But that testing ground. That’s when the things that could hold you back from the dream get stripped away. It could be behaviors, thoughts or even friends. Your old ways of being can’t be brought into new dreams. If you can survive it, there is a reward waiting for you on the other side of it.
Start searching out beginnings. Stop looking at the “down the road” of the people you admire and start researching their beginnings. You’ll likely find it was anything but glamorous or easy. What you will find is frustration, sacrifice and fear sandwiched between years of perseverance and determination.
Know who you are. It will make your journey that much faster. If you don’t know who you really are (which is very common), and rely on the assurances and validations of others; there is no greater pursuit that will make you address those shifting sands than pursuing your purpose. And address them you must.
How To Begin Your Purpose Journey
Purchase my 40 page workbook Your Ideal Self. The sooner you determine or get back to who you really are, the easier your purpose journey will be.
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