Daily Insight: Comparison’s Deeper Damage
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Comparison is an epidemic in our culture today. Professional women are not immune. Whether you’re comparing yourself with colleagues in your organization; that executive woman or podcaster you admire so much, or that business woman who is killing it; comparison is a dangerous habit. I should know.
I spent years of my professional life comparing myself. When I graduated from law school I compared my medium size law firm job to my classmates who were working at large law firms, and clearly making more money than me. As I progressed in my career I started comparing myself with people I knew who were becoming judges, as opposed to being happy for them, and despite my deputy title and eventual CEO status. Even when I started this business, I was comparing what other similar businesses were offering and how they were offering it. Throughout all that time, rarely was I ever truly inspired. Rather, it usually just made me feel bad about myself.
When we compare ourselves we’re creating unhappiness and longing for the things we seemingly don’t have, and a lack of gratitude for the things we do. More deeply, each time we compare ourselves with others we are subconsciously telling ourselves that we’re not enough. That the gifts and talents that we were born with and cultivated are not valuable. Something that is not valuable is worthless. It’s impossible to believe you have worth, when everyone else is worthier than you. That subconscious cycle turns into feelings. Those feelings rob you of joy and happiness. More deeply comparison infects your heart and soul like a disease. Infections need cures. There is one!!
So next time you’re tempted to see what that old classmate is up to, or you dive into what that podcaster or high profile leader has to say, or you see in action a colleague who seems to be thriving ask yourself
“Why am I really doing this?” and
“What am I feeling now?”
If your answer can’t involve true happiness for the other person or real educational learning, STOP. Remind yourself of the gifts and talents you have and what others see in you. If you can’t seem to stop yourself, considering taking a comparison detox for a while. Either way your joy, happiness, and more importantly your heart and soul will thank you.
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